The raw truth, and it might be long but I pray it can help someone.... one day, I know that God has a plan for me greater than I know, because I wouldn't have ever gone through this kinda sorrow and pain if he didn't.... I'm stronger, wiser and much more of a fighter than I thought I ever was.


Satan, you can't have me, as I am God's child. And my soul is protected and guided. Keep on moving, I have angels watching over me! I'm BLESSED! “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).
I have been through a lot in my life. From the age of 9, up until my abusive ex-husband and to the death of my mother. I would say I have had my battles with depression in the past, but I have ALWAYS gotten through it. With eating right, working out and dedicating my life to a BETTER me I lost 275 pounds.
I suffer from anxiety, depression, and Ptsd after losing 275, I had a lot of loose skin.


I felt great and could hide the skin with clothes but it was when I was standing in front of the mirror I wasn't happy, so I decided I wanted to look like I felt. I wanted to get the skin removed so I wouldn't get rashes anymore and wouldn't have to lift skin to move it or hide it anymore. I was so proud of all the work I did and that I accomplished my goal. Now all that was left was to get it removed! In 2013 I found a great Surgeon and decided to do my belly and arms. I was nervous but so excited at the same time. After it was done, he took a picture for me of the skin he removed from the belly and arms and WOW!!!! I couldn't believe how things my arms and belly were!!!! I still knew I needed another tummy tuck, thigh lift, breast lift. Those had to wait.


In 2014, I was in 2 accidents and was hurt pretty bad so I was on bed rest. Decided well ill go ahead and go get those surgeries now... first, mistake, don't get surgery when you can't get any exercise or if you can't eat healthily. Bad idea! ... so I went to a new doctor, who turned out to be Satan in disguise. He was supposed to do a tummy tuck, breathing lift, liposuction, and thigh lift ALL TOGETHER ... I asked him to take pictures of all the skin and liposuction that he took out... guess what? He didn't... on my thighs, he took nothing!!!! Just left scars. On my belly, he just ruined what my other Surgeon did and left a horrible belly button and horrible scars, and on my the breast lift, he did what he wanted there... he took out my breast tissue, put the BIGGEST implants you could have in and let me say this. I lost 275 pounds and when I was 16 I had a breast REDUCTION .... the last thing I wanted or asked for was what he just decided to do, whatever he wanted to do.... well... I ended up with 5 infections a huge hole in my body and fighting for my life... Oh and I woke up in the middle of surgery for over 4 hours and felt every knife, every cut, heard everyone talking ... it was pure hell and a nightmare ..... let's go to a week later when I go into his office for a visit and I have an infection, we're talking, he grabs a knife, cuts my boob open, pulls out the implant, and does a horrible stitch back, tells me that in 6 months he will put a new one in... so my left boob is a God knows what size he made it. And the right one is an A. And he wants me to walk around for 6 months like this. And blood is going everywhere and dripping everywhere. And I'm in shock and crying. And not processing what is going on. And I can't believe what is going on..... I have 5 infections and I'm literally thinking I'm going to die... literally, scared to death. Put on steroids which made me gain over 60 pounds back and at this point, I'm falling into depression, anxiety and just am ashamed, humiliated embarrassed, I did this for my self-esteem and for my own confidence but this man seemed to be able to steal that right from me in seconds. This trauma that I suffered I didn't even realize it.


6 months later, go back into surgery, and he puts the implant back in. He still doesn't fix the issue. Still, one side is smaller than the other and on top of this I get a new infection .... this Dr, wants to go for surgery again ... I tell him HELL NO. You're not going to KILL ME.... I find out from the Internet, there was a young girl who went for a simple surgery with him, she never woke up she went into a coma and died... I found it off of a lawyers page. I didn't see it before I went into surgery. The reviews are hidden by fake ones from his friends and family ...


March 2015 I went to a new surgeon to have him remove those implants and at least try to fix some of what this surgeon did.... I still need probably 2-5 to fix what he did to me.....


However, the trauma and nightmares live with me daily. The insecurities, the self-doubt..... I lost myself in that mess and became someone I didn't like.... between the pain medicine and the anxiety medicine I wasn't myself anymore and pushed everyone I loved and way. Between lying, withdrawing and being a bossy bitc**** I didn't want people close to me... I felt like I was living in a nightmare that no one could save me from.


I begged God to take my life and the only reason I never took my own was because of my son. He was the reason I held on. Every time I looked in the mirror I cried. I felt ashamed. Everything I worked so hard for. Just gone...


Between my knees and shoulders and back hurt from the accidents. I had to deal with a much larger issue plastic surgery gone MAGORILY wrong! & getting post-trauma from the surgery ..... it's horrible and it almost took my life....


The surgeon I had from HELL and he played DR with my body like the game OPERATION like we all had as kids. I was so depressed and dealing with PTSD and didn't even know I moved to a small town and away from everything I knew or people ....
.


I didn't wanna go to work events, or be around people. Didn't like to do things I enjoyed doing anymore.... life was painful and it hurt every day ..... what hurt the most was I didn't take him to court, not for money but to make sure he didn't hurt another person the way that he destroyed me. I wanted to save another woman from this pain and sorrow and that hurt so badly.


I realized at the end of 2016 that I could either keep living this way or I could stand up and fight for my life or I could continue to be a victim.... I chose to live my life. And not let this man take another day of it. I'm no longer on pain medicine or anxiety medicine and I am dealing with the depression and PTSD. everything else is day by day.


I'm not perfect. I fell. I hit rock bottom and at the end, I thought my life was over, but I control what happens next and I chose to keep turning the page until I MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN... I'm not hoping for something to HAPPENED I'm going to Make something happen... GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ME BIGGER THAN DR.Operation. and I'm going to heal one day. I'll pray for strength every day and one day I know that the reason this happened will be given to me and until then I am going to work on fixing the issue not continuing letting it control me....